“That’s A Real One In Your Reflection...”

“That’s a real one in your reflection, without a follow, without a mention...”

I randomly listened to Drake’s new album on the way back from Dubai one night. I wanted to see what all the hype was about. This isn’t a review, but I won’t say I would listen to it a million times again... only “God’s Plan” and “Nice For What”... those are like my hype songs. I don’t know why.

That line from “Nice For What” stuck out to me so much. It’s funny how we need to be convinced that a follow and a mention don’t define us. I think back to 2003, when Facebook, IG, Twitter, and SnapChat. It seemed like such a simpler time. When we wanted to know what B2K was doing, we bought a WordUp! Magazine. When we wanted to know what other movie stars were doing, we read other magazines, looked them up on the internet, watched shows on TV where they were guest stars, or went to the movies. There was still an innocence to our society.

Now, we’ve let follower numbers, mentions, and likes define who we are. When we sit back and think about it, it’s really dumb. People we don’t know, don’t like, and who we already have relationships with hold our esteem and joy in their hands. We question our photos, how we look, our own beauty, because of what we THINK the internet wants to see and respond to.

I confess that there are times I second guess how I look and how beautiful I am based on what I think people will like on FB and IG. It’s like I’ve taken on new glasses and see through the lenses of what others are looking for when it comes to being popular and well-liked on social media. I’m not even sure whose eyes I’m looking through! I don’t even know when I started to question my own beauty because of what others had said or didn’t say.

The crazy part is that I can’t recall anyone saying anything negative about anything. It becomes more of a comparison to what others are posting and how much feedback they receive in likes, comments, and mentions. I can’t recall being bullied or talked about, it’s an internal fear about how others feel about me, even though I don’t know.

But really... its a reflection of how I’m viewing myself. I’m comparing myself to theses other women... and the insecurities I feel are based on ones I’ve created for myself. Being too fat, face too bland, face blemishes, not enough make-up. I’m comparing myself to people with more likes and comments.

It’s sad to think that I’ve subjected myself to my worth being in a simple click of a heart or a thumb.

But haven’t we all in some way?

Retaking pictures a million times because we want it to look a certain way to please others. Deciding to not take a picture simply because we don’t think it meets a certain criteria for social media approval. Feeling discouraged when we see others with great pictures and a great response, and also internally hating on that person or becoming jealous, when they’ve done nothing but take a picture of them enjoying life.

We’ve lost our value within the digital world of “social acceptance”. We may have had insecurities before... but we’ve reached another level of insecurity and it’s based on an assumed level of acceptance. One that we’ve created based on the data we collect when we see what is really capturing the attention the others.

We’ve got to take our own power back! We’ve got to realize the beauty within that doesn’t change based on a certain number of likes we receive or don’t receive. We don’t even KNOW or TALK to half the people we’re giving this power to!

Look in the mirror.

That’s a real one in your reflection...

Without A Follow... Without a Mention...

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