I’m not one who cusses… out loud. My heart is still being worked on y’all. I still have my moments. I’m not perfect.
Today, I had a moment when I just wanted to run. Like… get in the car, drive an hour, grab a hotel, and text my husband later that I would be back in the morning. My twins both have colds, so when they get out of the bed, their first words are “Mommy?”. Even when they aren’t sick, that is still the FIRST thing out of their mouths. Even when I’m sick… which I am… I don’t get a day off. I still have to cater to their needs and put them before my sickness, my bad days at work, and the days I just can’t… anything.
You already know that toddlers use the word Mom/Mommy/Momma/Ma more than any other word in their vocabulary… now multiply that by TWO. Every day, I am called more than 500 times, I’m convinced.
But back to me running away…
I had just had enough in that moment. I was tired, congested, my husband was being a little bit of a jerk, and I needed a break but couldn’t get one. I took them to the store with me to get out of the house and in the elements with my girls to see if that would shake my mood… it didn’t.
I got home, put away the groceries and had to sit through a 10 minute tantrum from one of my twins because her nose was running and she wanted medicine and strawberries, and for me to pick her up… and the answer to all three was no.
My husband took them both into the living room. I sat on the kitchen floor, alone, and realized that I needed a good cry. I just needed a moment to be relieved of all the emotions I was feeling.
So I went into the bathroom, locked the door, and just cried for a good 10 minutes. Usually, my crying moments go along with a prayer, where I ask God for a whole lot of strength and patience. I’m also a teacher living abroad, which is a whole DIFFERENT set of issues. I just needed a moment of relief. And I got it. Just through expressing my problems, internally and verbally in a corner in my bathroom, with my twins banging on the door to be let in.
But I feel so much better now. I feel like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. I don’t feel as pressured to be a perfect mom. I recognize that my need for my kids to be quiet is okay. And I just took that moment to say “I’m still human.”
So go ahead momma… cry that sh*t out today. Find a moment for you to just cry. Our kids do it all the time, all day long. It’s like tears are the refreshing saltwater that cleanses our minds and relieves our stresses.
Cry That Sh*it Out.